Vivir

Vivir- “to live” in Spanish

I was terrified. This is my first ever tattoo (probably won’t be my last) and I was so nervous.

In the past year there have been so many really painful medical procedures (a ton of blood draws, MRI contrast injections, copaxone injections every day, the glorious PICC line from when they thought I had Lyme disease, and, of course, the spinal tap), so I guess what I was thinking is that if I could make myself go to the hospital and willingly sit down and let them put a giant needle in my spine or a 34cm tube through my vein, I can probably go get the tattoo that I’ve been wanting since high school.

For once, logic worked out for me. Often, my brain doesn’t listen to logic. This happens a lot on airplanes, where my logic is saying reasonable things like “people fly this route every day” or “air travel is the safest form of travel” but my brain is saying “what is that noise? does that mean we’re going to die? we’re going to die. DIE.” But today my brain stopped saying ridiculous things and let me get my tattoo.

Senior year, as we were all preparing to leave Barcelona, a lot of the girls started talking about getting tattoos to sort of commemorate our time there or our high school years. Ada got a feather behind her ear that looks fantastic, I don’t know if any of the others went through with it. I think “vivir” appealed to me because living in Spain was one of the first times that I really felt like I was living. Unconjugated, it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I kind of like that it’s just “to live.” When we were learning the “acabar de” construct in Spanish and we had to take turns formulating sentences, I said “acabo de vivir, pero siempre tengo alma.” Google translate doesn’t see that the same way I do, and it was naive and teenager-y and cliched and not as poetic as I thought it was.

As my dad pointed out, very few teenage girls bring their fathers along to get their first tattoo. As I pointed out, I’m kind of terrible at being a rebel.

 

Guess I missed a couple things…

In spite of trying to be a good blogger and keep whoever happens to read my blog informed about my life, I’ve missed out on some of the most important things! So, once again, a list

1. My college does this great thing called In the Company of Others (ITCOO) during freshmen orientation. It’s a thing where several (this year it was 9) older students volunteer to write and deliver (terminology?) a monologue about some experience they’ve had at college (or before if it’s relevant) that shaped them into who they are today. This past orientation (about a month and a half ago) I participated along with 8 fantastic people and told my whole fun diagnosis story. Kind of a downer, but also a good thing to do I think? Then felt super embarrassed about skipping the ITCOO that happened during my freshmen orientation last year…. 

2. I joined WSDR (Wesleyan Students for Disability Rights) this year, thanks to 2 fellow ITCOO-ers who are the founders of WSDR. Very cool and active student group here, even though it’s intense to identify as disabled for me… 

3. I’m getting interviewed! By Christin Rice, www.christinrice.com , who writes a great blog (click the link!) about change. She’s cool, that’s cool, very exciting 🙂 

4. I got some MS t-shirts! Less exciting, but whatever. One says “Multiple Sclerosis Ninja” (I got it because it’s so enigmatic… by enigmatic I mean I think somebody figured out you can put any words on a shirt with “ninja” and it will sell) and the other says “I’m not drunk, I have MS.” Clearly I plan to only wear it while inebriated. Ha! However, have not had courage to wear them outside of my house… 

5. I’m writing this blog post as a break from an all-nighter that I am currently pulling for a Developmental Biology midterm…. wish me luck guys… 

6. On a related note, RedBull is a hideous (but suddenly necessary) beverage. 

7. Finally, if you happen to be around Wesleyan on Halloweekend, come check out VOCAL DEBAUCHERY’s Halloween show on the 29th at 5PM (probably in the Nics Lounge). We’re hilarious and fantastic and a good way to use up your Saturday 🙂