So it’s been one year (and a day since I’m a day late) since my heavily critiqued (by my father) one year blog post, and more to the point, two years of MS down. Many more to go, unless science gets on their shit.
I’m feeling my MS pretty acutely, shall we say, as I’m just finishing up a relapse and am on a new drug that makes me into a zombie and also makes me have a ridiculously short attention span. I feel pretty incapable of solid thoughts and my boyfriend keeps describing me as either “glazed” or “loopy.” So, like, that’s cool just kidding.
As such, I can’t promise that this blog post will be any better or more philosophically sound than my failure of a blog post last year! I’m sorry! You guys (dad) are really critical! With no further disclaimer other than a sincere apology for being bad at blogging, here goes.
Well, these have been quite the two years. To the now ex-boyfriend who said he’d break up with me “if it changed me,” (it being MS) it did in fact change me, for the better, and I’m really pleased to no longer be dating you.
I hate to say the for the better thing, because I’ve read (and agreed with) so many critiques of the whole “I wouldn’t trade my disease for anything, life changing moments, blah blah blah” thing. However, it definitely did help me to grow up a bit and it made me braver. I feel like I need to be organizing these thoughts better (remember how I’m on weird drugs now? ugh). It’s list time. Here we go. List of thoughts. Screw drugs, man.
- I recently had an argument with someone who proclaimed me to be healthy and suggested that I was letting MS affect my life more than it should. This someone was definitely a medical doctor and needs a serious MS education, but the argument made me realize that I kind of think the exact opposite. I think that I’ve been living with not enough regard for my medical condition (a thing which is far from healthy) and I need to start making some smarter choices that reflect the fact that I have this frickin autoimmune disease.
- I’m beginning to suspect that I can’t be an organ donor? That makes some sense, I guess. But that’s sad.
- It would be nice if Teva (the company that makes my meds) could a) stop sending me crooked needles that I can’t tell are crooked until after I’ve already stabbed myself (because I have to put them in an auto-injector that takes off the needle cap) and b) stop trying to block BG-12 from coming out because yeah, it would take away a bunch of their business, but they’re making a flawed product and a lot of us would really rather be on a pill than on an injectable.
- I’m as per usual grateful to the people in my life (housemates, siblings, family, friends, a cappella broz, stand-up folks, tha boyfriend, professors, etc etc) who make things so much easier and more fun and stick up for me and hang out with me when I’m sick and are just awesome people. Special cred to Will Dubbs who came up with the term Scleversary.
- When I’m off these drugs which I hate, which will hopefully happen soon, I’ll write something more intelligible (and hopefully intelligent) and it’ll be great but for now these are my thoughts.
Love and TWOYEARSDOWNLEZGO,
(this is me and the boyfriend trying to take a picture together and my baby brother photo-bombing hardcore) (happy blog post to all and to all a good night)