Learning Moments: Boyfriend Edition

You might recall that I’m not the biggest fan of learning moments. Today was quite the day of learning/some really sucky stuff happened. Not quite ready to talk about it yet, it’ll happen. So instead, I bring you Learning Moments: Boyfriend Edition. The main thing I’ve learned in the past year about dating is that I can’t separate my MS from my love life because that doesn’t work. The MS is permanent, so I’m really more committed to it than to any boy out of necessity. It’s inseparable from the rest of me, so if you date me, you’re dating my MS too. It sucks, but it’s how it is. And yes, this is me breaking my Don’t Blog About Boys rule in the blog post right after I promised to not do that again. With no further disclaimer, here are my Learning Moments, graciously provided by several assholes misguided young adults whose brains are not fully formed and thus I should cut them some slack.

1. If you think I’m faking my MS to get your attention, I don’t want to date you. Because a) I’m not, and b) I’m kinda smart, and realize that there are many diseases that would get more attention than Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis: the disease that makes you feel worse than you look and also c) if you have the capacity to think that about another person who you profess to love, you suck as a human being.

2. If needles make you squeamish and you don’t want to hear about my medication or my disease, I don’t want to date you. If you spend all your time on the internet and don’t take the time to even google what MS is, why am I dating you? And please, dear god, don’t ask me why I feel sick today or tell me to feel better. If you’d taken the time to google my disease, or, say, ask me about it, you’d know it has no cure. The feeling better is not a thing.

3. If you think I’m the tragic heroine in the indie movie that is your life, I don’t want to date you. My feelings for you and your feelings for me don’t mean more because I’m sick. Also, a week and a half ago, I managed to open my front door into my own face out of sheer klutziness. I am not the tragic heroine in any indie movie. They tend to be more graceful.

4. If I’m interested in you because you also have a chronic illness and I think that’s suitable common ground for a relationship, I’m an idiot, and I don’t want to date you. 

5. If my autoimmune disease is kind of a downer and like you really just wanna go out tonight, you can do that, but I don’t want to date you. Not because I don’t want you to have fun, but because I can go out most nights, and it’s sucky that the one night I can’t, I’m stuck alone.

6. If you’re not doing any of these things because you’re the most wonderful, I’m probably currently dating you. Good job, me. Progress.

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