“Summer has just flown” said a million people this summer. Not sure what it was about summer 2012 that seemed so fast but you know, when everyone agrees on something it
might be true is a thing that people like to hear themselves say exists as a possibility. With no more platitudes (please), here’s a brief list of the things I claim to have learned this summer:
1. Rat decapitation is not my game.
2. In any episode of Law & Order SVU ever: find most famous guest star in episode. If that person is male, they did it. If that person is female, they know what happened. Or they’re about to be revealed as the worst mother character you ever heard of.
3. Related: a surprisingly large amount of semi-famous (and actually famous people) have appeared on Law & Order SVU. Zoe Saldana whattttt.
4. My baby brother (age almost 9) likes to wake up at 5AM and play computer games. Which I definitely did not learn while sneaking out of the house at 5AM. It’s not sneaking if you’re 20 anyway.
5. People who end up at my blog via google most often do so from google searches involving Ann Romney.
6. Mentioning Ann Romney in all my blog posts because of my google obsession does not make my regular readers that happy.
7. Similarly, just saying “Wes Mafia” as often as possible when discussing movies can occasionally make non-Wes-bubble folk less than happy.
8. Caring about making other people happy is not that productive.
9. My problems are “Elder Problems” (#elderproblems) because they include: organizing my knitting basket, not being able to pick a satisfactory name for my cat, not being able to drink/stay up late/go out in the heat without getting sick, and having a disease that for some reason people think is an “old person disease.”
10. Now that I am twenty, medical professionals ask me if I’m 14 instead of 12. Scoooore.
11. Our medical system is super fucked (there is no other term really, sorry Mom) and the war on women is super fucked-up (again, I know, that was twice in one blog post, I’m sorry) and Mitt Romney is a fuck-up (3!) and it’s fucking ridiculous (4…) that Mitt Romney gets away with stuff (pretending to be a cop) that Obama could not get away with. And THUS, we need to re-elect the fuck out of Obama (that one was a little unnecessary, it’s true) so that women can, ya know, have rights and everyone can have medical care and we won’t have to tell other countries that our President wears “magic underwear.” But seriously.
12. The best way to talk about trauma is honestly, because sometimes trying to be a likable narrator and trying to teach everyone Something Important does the exact opposite.
It’s 2:48AM and really, I have to stop writing incoherent late-night blog posts. But never fear, readers, the semester looms ahead (going back to campus in 8 days!!) and thus I will be writing my blog posts at normal hours in the library. As procrastination. Like a good girl. Goodnight!