Jack Osbourne is Not Dying


…and other common misconceptions about multiple sclerosis!

If you happen to go to the grocery store and peruse the magazines, you’ll notice that the cover of the current issue of People is the story of Jack Osbourne’s very recent MS diagnosis. (here‘s the version that they put online, very abridged)

Um, to the writers of People articles, do you get your medical information from the 1980s or something? Just a few quick quotes from their terribly researched article:

“..symptoms could flare up as seldom as every several years, though they usually grow more frequent and debilitating as a patient gets older” 

“MS usually begins with symptoms that come and go. It typically progresses over 15 to 20 years into a more debilitating form that leaves some in wheelchairs.” 

“MS attacks the brain, and in its relapsing-remitting early phase, which Osbourne has, causes fluctuating symptoms.” 

-and most wonderfully, from the cover “‘I won’t let my son die’ Sharon and Jack Osbourne on the diagnosis that has the 26-year-old fighting to save his vision, his future and his life.” 

To clear up all the misinformation that you guys just read: MS no longer necessarily progresses, patients diagnosed today with relapsing/remitting MS (RRMS) typically have a 25% or less chance of ending up in a wheelchair, and um, RRMS is not an “early phase” for some more horrible version. People, you suck.

But Jack Osbourne, man, you rock. Here are some better quotes (which amusingly contradict all the crap that People is trying to tell us in the exact same article):

“Right now am I going to be in a wheelchair? No. But if I don’t take care of myself, who knows.”

“There’s no rhyme or reason. That’s the worst part. You can go to bed feeling fine, and you can wake up and your leg might not work.” 

“I think within the next 20 years they’re going to have a cure for this.”

“I think when people hear that you have MS, they think, ‘Oh, I’m sorry, your life is over,’ but my life is far from over”  

So I’m currently tweeting at Jack (I am really bad at tweeting) and hoping that he’ll click over to my website, because I wanna be MS friends with him. Jack, if you clicked my link:

Hi!

Do you want an MS friend? I’m pretty low-key. I have Clay Walker’s phone number and didn’t give it to anyone. Also I was the flower girl in Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman’s wedding and I haven’t even sold the dress on E-Bay. So I’m probably kind of trustworthy. The things you said in the article were super-cool, sorry that People writers are douchebags who don’t even know to wikipedia a disease before they write about it. Contact me in some way pretty please! We can try to figure out what Race to Erase MS even is (since it’s not an actual race) (with that name it should clearly be some sort of walkathon!) and talk about Copaxone. I’ve been on it for over a year now, gross.

Thanks and Vitamin D to you,

Cade

Oh, and uh, People? MS doesn’t kill you.

One thought on “Jack Osbourne is Not Dying

  1. I just came from a supermarket check out line where I had a mini meltdown after seeing this People cover. The cashier said to me, “Sad, isn’t it? I didn’t know it was fatal.” My mind burst into flames and I blurted out to a bunch of complete strangers, “I have MS and if I die, it’s not going to be because of MS”. Gasps all around. “YOU HAVE MS?”. I’m young, fit and pushing my own grocery cart. I can see how this simply did not compute.

    There are so many incredible misconceptions about the disease and what the MS population looks like. I’m glad Jack is out there, challenging these misconceptions but that sensationalist headline had my eyes rolling like Proud Mary.

    “Thanks and Vitamin D to you”. That made me snort with laughter. I forgot to take my Vitamin D today, but thankfully I don’t have to take my Betaseron until tomorrow.

    Keep it sterile.

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