mslifeisbestlife

How to Write a Marketable BookBased on our research of actual book titles, we’ve got the formula: towering intellectual figure + everyday object.

Thoreau’s Laundry
Flaubert’s Parrot
Heidegger’s Glasses
Wittgenstein’s Poker
Beethoven’s Hair

Easy, right?  Ideally the object should be one the Intellectual Figure handles every day, to enhance intimacy and mystery (the mystery of, Why the fuck would anyone write about this?) Writing the book is not really the problem, it’s the title. So to make it easier on you, the writer-to-be, we’ve created a list:

Darwin’s Ladle
Asimov’s Spatula
Sartre’s Springform Pan
Kant’s Whisk
Nietzsche’s Coffee Mug
Picasso’s Toothbrush
Van Gogh’s Multivitamins
Monet’s Smartwool Socks
Hume’s Waxed Floss
Gaudi’s Q-tip
Beckett’s Fingernail Clippers
Freud’s iPad
Shakespeare’s Doorknob
Joan of Arc’s Digital Camera
Queen Elizabeth’s Wireless Mouse
Tolstoy’s Brita Pitcher

Historical inaccuracy?  Why not speculate on what Joan would have photographed if she could have!  A hipster self-portrait of herself being burned to death after which she tossed the camera away from the fire… Anyway, remember to add hypersexuality, insanity, and death, plus creamed herring for breakfast or whatever weird thing your Intellectual Figure tucks into his or her mouth.  We all have mouths, so we want to know this stuff.  Add odd habits, such as walking by the clocktower every day at noon, or always washing the left underarm first, or roasting roadkill  to save money.   Or building teepees out of sticks and calling them magic caves as the apocalypse arrives (apologies to Von Trier–but we would rather roll up in blankets in a closet and suck down some liquor than sit on an exposed hillside without even a sweater if the world was going to end–though the teepee was more picturesque, we grant).

Whoa–pie break.  I made a chocolate cream pie last night, in a successful effort to get my father to eat carbs.  He ate carbs!  Unalloyed culinary triumph! Now we must have some pie. Anyway, here’s the end of our first mother-daughter-blog-stravaganza, look out for more in the future!

Love,
Kathryn & Cade